Saturday; 19th

Saturday on the other hand – pressure was kind of high for me. That evening, I was taking a beautiful young girl to Jubilation’s Dinner Theater for ‘Grease’. I got the car all shined, head all polished (not literally – although I’m curious how one gets such a close shave that this is possible. Wax?), and picked up the rose. Yeah, that’s right – a rose. I’m old school – live with it! Anyways, after being hassled for several hours by the guys for my recent adventure to SATC2 the weekend prior, I left to pick Mrs. Tasha up; she was stunning – as always. The dinner went very well, and I must admit – I rather enjoyed the dinner theater. Post dinner, we ended up going to see that DNA flick ‘Splice’. I would love to tell you it was an amazing flick, and fit in perfectly with an amazing evening – but I’d be lying. The movie was actually horrible. Now, when I was in the theater, I was so distracted by the beautiful girl next to me – I couldn’t even contemplate how terrible the movie actually was. It wasn’t until later that night after I had dropped her off that it really hit me…my feelings came to me gracefully in one phrase “Are you SERIOUS?” ß The answer is yes, I am serious. The movie was terrible. I’m not even going to tell you the top 3 reaso…oh who am I kidding.

#1 – Interspecies s3x scene.
#2 – Interspecies r4pe scene.
#3 – They killed a cat. #$(#&%!

As you can see from my ‘top-3-reasons-NOT-to-watch-Splice’ list – this movie should be stricken from the planet, or the director forced to watch the last 30 minutes of the movie over – and over – and over…and over, for eternity. Or we could send the movie AND him in a space shuttle, his eyes tooth-picked open, and fulfill both options at once? This might also inadvertently save mankind at a later date…I can see it now. The year is 2317. The world is in Chaos – alliances have crumbled. War rages on – and to add to it all…a space shuttle has just crashed in the desert. US Army picks it up, and a man is found…his body is too decayed to identify – but film footage is also found. They play it. They are scared. They get all the world’s leaders together, and form a new alliance – one dedicated to ensure that this footage is never released. The world is at peace…if only they knew what was in the bottom of the ocean, in a locked box…patrolled by combined world forces.